#the facets are sometimes emotions but also other things

[quinnyundertow]

The first time that y / n interacts with toji he basically sexually assaults her, do you think that he has the capacity to take advantage of someone in that way? I dont mean to offend you when asking this, because I look up to you a lot as someone who writes very well. But I think that this facet of a character being brought up is very interesting, because people don't really like to talk about how sometimes their favorite characters (that are canonically bad people) can do bad things that aren't just killing other people. Their favorite characters can do bad things like raping people. And I think it's really interesting how you picked up on that, I guess this is my long winded way up asking you to expand upon it because I really appreciate the thoughtfulness put into the way you write these characters.

I want to preface this by saying this is my opinion from my character studies. I don’t want to debate or argue with anyone about his character and why he is the way he is. Now on to the long response.

No offense taken at all. Toji is such an interesting character because he’s very realistically human. It’s going to take me delving into his character to answer this. Toji was created in a horrifying environment (Zenin clan) that had no respect for women or life. He was born and trained to be a killer of curses and people alike. He was told he was nothing because he lacked powers a sorcerer would have while being told he was still better than women and non-Zenin’s. Talk about a chaotic and confusing environment. Despite it all, miraculously, he fell in love and forsook everything he was taught growing up. He clearly respected and loved Mamaguro. He went straight and narrow and stopped being a hit man for her. Unfortunately, they lived happily ever is not the way this story ends.

In the second phase of Toji’s life, post mamaguro he falls into a deep depression where he forsakes any and all things that made him human. He refuses to consciously let himself care about anyone (including himself) because he can’t take the agony of losing someone he loves again like that. He shows this to the point where he has moments where he “forgets” Megumi exists. He falls back on what he was taught growing up and feeds his darker emotions. He’s known as the sorcerer killer, and he shows his total disregard for life by killing Kuroi a completely unnecessary death in the hidden inventory because he didn’t care enough to hold back. He takes a job to murder a child (Riko) because he wants to stick it to sorcerer society. He’s self destructive and kills just to drink and gamble all the money away. He’s also according to Gege a womanizer that sleeps with older more wealthy women for money.

Here’s the thing a lot of people refuse to see. Toji doesn’t have to do any of these things; he chooses to. If he truly wanted to destroy sorcerer society he could have. He could have wiped out the Zenin clan easily. If he wanted to just gamble and drink 24/7 he could rob banks or the rich. Instead he chooses to debauch himself and sink into every indecent thing he knows; it’s like an advanced form of self harm. He drinks to forget what a piece of shit he is now and to forget what he’s lost (mamaguro) and what he’s running from (Megumi). While killing, strategizing, and gambling for a brief high. He has moments of clarity, right before he dies and when he sells Megumi off, but those are few and far between.

So back to the original question. Does Toji have the capacity to sexually assault someone? Rape someone? In my opinion, Absolutely. He would do it, enjoy basking in the animalistic side of it and absolutely despise himself for doing it afterwards.

Why do I think this? He degrades and abuses Suguru (a child) and enjoys it. He’s sadistic and enjoys mocking and beating him when he’s already knocked out. He only doesn’t murder him because it would be inconvenient to deal with the curses Suguru holds in his body. Toji has proven he knows right from wrong and that he doesn’t have to be a hit man to survive. He’s already done these things before and is choosing not to.

All these factors considered he can and does still choose to hold back or be a “good” person at times. He acknowledges he’s a shit father by selling off Megumi saying he’s better off that way despite knowing how bad it is even to the blessed. He holds back from murdering the man he bumped at the gambling salon because it wasn’t worth the effort. He doesn’t kill the Zenin clan because he still cares about them despite everything. Finally, he sacrifices his life for his son at the end of it all.

Gege is a master character creator when he takes the time to (allowed creative time and freedom to). Which is what makes Toji such a fun character to write. He has shown the capacity to be good and evil. He has the capacity to change if someone gives enough of a fuck and if he allows it.

Thank you for the question and you’ll have to see how our YN fares in this next arc. ☺️

[cosmosynthesis]

school starts tkmrowo maybi i should leanr how to us e this app (it is 2am ignore my horrid tyoign plz)

[unopenablebox]

i'm fighting demons but the demon is making biweekly posts about how perfect 🌸 is

[townofcadence]

Artie baby you are not like that. I have personal experience with someone who treated me like I was broken and told me all the time how they were going to fix me, they would tell me things that were wrong with me and how they would make me better. You are not deciding for anyone or forcing them to do things your way, and don't punish them if they don't. I see you offering but I never seen you force. I am away from that and you remind me of my bestie now. There is a huge difference between what you do and that, trust me 💖

"...I can understand. I'm sorry you were in that position, but I'm glad you're not, anymore. But... thank you."

[mxrcurysb1tch]

🍸🦎Astrology placement observations pt 2.🦎🍸

Disclaimer: these are my observations based on people I know irl and resources I have found. If you don’t agree you’re entitled to that opinion but don’t come at me xo

☿ In my experience, there are 2 kinds of libra moons. The kind that is kind of cartoon character-ish. Bubbly, fun, very sociable. Kind of exaggerated in their expressiveness. The kind that is bubbling with positive energy and could not hide their emotions if they tried. Then there is the other kind that is not talked about so much. These are much more introverted and harmonious. I would say they are equally likeable as the typical presentation of libra moons but they either don't care to have as many friends or just keep to themselves more. They have a much softer, sensual vibe kind of like taurus or cancer in a way. They are fairly in-tune with their emotions, albeit in a pretty detached, intellectual way. They tend to be quieter but still have a very pleasing aura to be around. One thing I will say that is pretty common with all Libra moons is that although they are pretty romantic, they are rarely satisfied with committing to one partner and will have many relationships or flings throughout their young adulthood as they want to experience the many facets that the dating world has to offer.

☿ An Aries/libra interception in the placidus chart can create great struggles with the self and relating to others. They struggle to express and assert themselves, and with having clearly defined boundaries between themselves and others. Usually, in childhood they struggle most in relationships with other people and may be unintuitive with social cues even if they desperately want to be accepted and have friends. This is not as apparent into adulthood as they have likely learnt, through trial and error, how to make friends and be liked. Although this is not usually through conventional means of intuition and more through an intellectual stance. Whereas in childhood they may have had a stronger sense of self, in adulthood this starts to suffer more. I think a desperate questioning of the self in an attempt to find what distinguishes them from other people and makes them uniquely "themselves" is common. These individuals can be susceptible to people pleasing tendencies as they can sometimes feel like whenever they try to assert themselves it is taken the wrong way and so they have to appease everyone and say exactly what others want to hear in order to be accepted. It is a delicate balance between selfishness and selflessness that they have to achieve.

☿ Pisces moons are a lot more grounded than people give them credit for. They usually have pretty solid ambitions and they don’t waste time striving for them. They are full of optimistic energy so they don’t have a problem with believing they are capable of achieving whatever it is they want. They approach life with a very “go with the flow” attitude. And it is precisely this attitude that allows them to easily succeed as they are pretty much okay with anything that comes along in the material world. They are also usually pretty good at a lot of different things.

☿ Venus retrograde in the natal chart can struggle with self-care and believing they are worth being cared for. They may either be less interested in romantic relationships or they can have tumultuous love lives, unless venus is well aspected. This is because they might believe they should just put up with unkind behaviour simply because they love someone. They tend to either have many different romantic relationships or stay in the same one for years and years even at a very young age. They can be pretty messy even dirty sometimes and have a boring or unconventional aesthetic style. They may be less adventurous in artistic pursuits than most people. They can be prone to copying others aesthetically as they are unsure how to express this part of themselves externally.

☿ Virgo mercuries are usually very direct and even a bit bossy in communication but even so, it is usually well received by other people as they do it in a way that is inoffensive and kind of playful. This kind of approach may not be pulled off so well by other mercury signs.

☿ Sagittarius moons and mercuries are great conversationalists. They are very funny and can strike up a conversation with anyone about anything. Sag moons especially appreciate a good sense of humor and can bring out the funny side of people. They can seem a bit tiresome at times as their propensity to debate from even sides they don’t even necessarily agree with can be grating. They don’t do this to be annoying though, they’re simply interested in finding out about how people think and stretching an argument to its limits in order to confirm or deny its validity.

Merry Christmas! X

[kleopatra45]

Ascendant in the D9 Chart

The Navamsa chart, also known as the D9 chart, is a vital tool in Vedic astrology that delves into the deeper layers of your soul, your spiritual path, and especially your marriage and partnerships. The Ascendant (Lagna) in the Navamsa chart is crucial in understanding how you evolve over time, particularly in the context of your relationships. It reflects the qualities you develop in your marriage and how your personality matures.

Aries

With Aries as your Navamsa Ascendant, you approach marriage and long-term relationships with a sense of vigor and initiative. Aries brings a pioneering spirit, making you eager to lead and take charge within your partnership. You may have a dynamic, assertive approach to resolving issues, and you value independence within the marriage. The relationship is likely to be filled with excitement and action, as you prefer to keep things moving forward. Personal growth for you comes through developing courage, assertiveness, and learning to balance your own needs with those of your partner.

Taurus

A Taurus Navamsa Ascendant indicates that stability and sensuality are paramount in your marriage. You seek a relationship that provides comfort, security, and a sense of permanence. Taurus brings a nurturing, patient, and grounded energy, making you someone who values consistency and loyalty in your partner. You might express love through material support, affection, and creating a beautiful, harmonious home environment. This placement suggests a marriage that is likely to be steady and enduring, with both partners investing in the long-term well-being of the relationship. Personal growth comes through cultivating patience, resilience, and an appreciation for the finer things in life.

Gemini

With Gemini as your Navamsa Ascendant, communication is the cornerstone of your marriage. You crave intellectual stimulation and enjoy a relationship where ideas, thoughts, and conversations flow freely. Gemini brings a versatile and adaptable energy, making you open to changes and eager to explore different facets of your partnership. You’re likely to seek a partner who is curious, communicative, and capable of engaging you on a mental level. This placement can bring a lively, playful, and sometimes dual nature to the marriage, where both partners enjoy learning from each other. Growth in your relationship comes through embracing adaptability, effective communication, and maintaining a sense of curiosity.

Cancer

A Cancer Navamsa Ascendant suggests that emotional depth and nurturing are at the heart of your marriage. You seek a strong emotional connection with your partner, often playing a protective and caring role in the relationship. Cancer’s energy is deeply intuitive and compassionate, making you sensitive to your partner’s needs and feelings. You’re likely to create a home environment that is warm, secure, and filled with love. This placement often leads to a marriage where family and home life are central, with a focus on mutual support and emotional bonding. Personal growth comes through developing empathy, emotional resilience, and a deep sense of belonging within the relationship.

Leo

With Leo as your Navamsa Ascendant, you bring a sense of pride, passion, and generosity into your marriage. You seek a relationship where you can express your creativity, love, and leadership qualities. Leo’s energy is warm, enthusiastic, and often grand, making you someone who desires recognition and respect from your partner. You may take on a protective or guiding role in the relationship, ensuring that both you and your partner shine together. This placement suggests a marriage filled with love, loyalty, and shared joy, where both partners support each other’s growth and self-expression. Personal development comes through embracing your leadership qualities, cultivating generosity, and finding ways to share the spotlight in your relationship.

Virgo

A Virgo Navamsa Ascendant indicates that you approach marriage with a strong sense of duty, practicality, and a desire for improvement. You value order, cleanliness, and efficiency in your relationship, and you’re likely to be focused on making things better for both you and your partner. Virgo’s energy is analytical and service-oriented, making you attentive to the details of your marriage and keen on creating a harmonious and functional partnership. You may be drawn to a partner who shares your work ethic and desire for self-improvement. Personal growth in your marriage comes through learning to balance criticism with compassion, embracing imperfection, and finding joy in the little things.

Libra

With Libra as your Navamsa Ascendant, balance, harmony, and partnership are central to your marriage. You seek a relationship that is fair, equal, and filled with mutual respect and understanding. Libra’s energy is diplomatic, charming, and relationship-focused, making you someone who values cooperation and strives to maintain peace within the marriage. You’re likely to be a considerate partner who enjoys the social aspects of marriage, such as spending time together and engaging in shared activities. This placement suggests a marriage where both partners are invested in each other’s well-being and are willing to make compromises for the sake of harmony. Personal growth comes through cultivating balance, developing strong communication skills, and nurturing the bond of partnership.

Scorpio

A Scorpio Navamsa Ascendant indicates that your marriage is likely to be intense, transformative, and deeply emotional. You approach relationships with a sense of passion and a desire for profound connection. Scorpio’s energy is powerful, mysterious, and often driven by a need for emotional depth and intimacy. You may experience significant transformations within your marriage, where challenges lead to growth and a deeper understanding of each other. This placement suggests a relationship that is not afraid to confront difficult issues, with both partners evolving together through shared experiences. Personal growth comes through embracing vulnerability, developing trust, and navigating the complexities of emotional intimacy.

Sagittarius

With Sagittarius as your Navamsa Ascendant, you bring a sense of adventure, optimism, and exploration into your marriage. You seek a relationship that allows for personal growth, freedom, and shared experiences. Sagittarius’s energy is expansive, enthusiastic, and philosophical, making you someone who values intellectual and spiritual connection with your partner. You’re likely to be drawn to a relationship that encourages exploration, whether through travel, learning, or new experiences. This placement suggests a marriage where both partners inspire each other to grow and explore new horizons. Personal development comes through embracing optimism, fostering mutual growth, and maintaining a sense of adventure in the relationship.

Capricorn

A Capricorn Navamsa Ascendant indicates that you approach marriage with a sense of responsibility, discipline, and a long-term perspective. You value stability, structure, and commitment in your relationship, and you’re likely to be focused on building a secure and enduring partnership. Capricorn’s energy is ambitious, practical, and determined, making you someone who is willing to work hard to ensure the success of your marriage. You may be drawn to a partner who shares your goals and values, and who is equally committed to building a solid foundation together. Personal growth in your marriage comes through developing patience, embracing responsibility, and striving for mutual achievements.

Aquarius

With Aquarius as your Navamsa Ascendant, you bring a sense of uniqueness, intellectual connection, and humanitarian values into your marriage. You seek a relationship that is progressive, free-spirited, and built on a strong mental connection. Aquarius’s energy is innovative, unconventional, and often focused on the collective good, making you someone who values individuality and freedom within the partnership. You’re likely to be drawn to a partner who shares your ideals and is open to unconventional approaches to marriage. This placement suggests a relationship where both partners support each other’s independence and contribute to a shared vision. Personal growth comes through embracing innovation, fostering intellectual connection, and supporting each other’s individuality.

Pisces

A Pisces Navamsa Ascendant indicates that your marriage is likely to be compassionate, spiritual, and deeply intuitive. You approach relationships with a sense of empathy, sensitivity, and a desire for emotional and spiritual connection. Pisces’s energy is dreamy, creative, and often focused on the emotional and spiritual dimensions of life, making you someone who values emotional depth and soul connection in your marriage. You may be drawn to a partner who understands and shares your spiritual or creative inclinations. This placement suggests a marriage where both partners seek to transcend the ordinary and connect on a deeper, more spiritual level. Personal growth comes through embracing compassion, developing spiritual awareness, and nurturing the emotional bond within the relationship.

©️kleopatra45

[shirefantasies]

What are the LoTR Characters' Love Languages?

The Five Love Languages are: Gifts, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Acts of Service! Everyone has a primary two and this is my headcanon for LoTR 🫶🏻

Aragorn

Words of Affirmation- Aragorn is beyond happy to compliment you in both languages he knows, Elvish dripping from his tongue sweetly onto you as smoothly as your virtues are extolled in the common tongue. As if by magic, your beloved ranger seems to be able to conjure the perfect words at a moment's notice, his words a soft blade cutting through your anxiety with reminders of your strength. All the things which he sees in you that are sometimes lost, all of them dredged up again from the murky waters of your emotion.

Acts of Service- It is not even a conscious effort or choice the way Aragorn moves to protect you. The way he seems to materialize near even an inconvenience to you, his hands at the ready for even the smallest task. A thing as little as unlacing your boots at the end of the day is a joy as simple as breathing. Aragorn provides for you practically without thinking, just as he does for all those who hold a place in his heart. He is a man of service, a man whose heart is betrayed by his every action.

Legolas

Acts of Service- He is quiet with his love, at least at first. You may not hear it directly from his lips every day, but his actions reflect a deep commitment to you. How hard he fights for you and the way he rushes into absolutely any fray to rescue you. Aiding in any passion of yours comes naturally to Legolas, who displays nothing but willingness to learn about the things most beloved to you. After all, you are the most beloved to him.

Quality Time- Respite is earned simply by existing in your presence, that feeling of solace that comes with total comfort. Silence comes naturally to Legolas and as such it can be comfortable alone or with you. He loves to observe and admire the world around him by your side, seeing beauty through your lovely eyes and discussing the unity of it all.

Boromir

Quality Time- Many people see Boromir without truly seeing him, focusing on the stories of his father or the position he has. The victories over the man. To have one person in his life beside his brother who values his presence, his thoughts and conversation and laughter over the show, almost feels unattainable. His favorite memories, though, are the ones of time intentionally spent. Of shaking off the pressure and relaxing or even playing with you, smiles genuine, not forced.

Physical Touch- In the same vein, he wants to feel your presence almost as a reassurance that you are real, you are something which will not disappear from his life easily. He also loves to tease you with touches and watch the way your face changes with every new point of contact, giving a grin or smirk of his own. Contrasting facets that come together into the fantastic, wildly glittering jewel that is your relationship. Every line of them connecting like spokes, you and Boromir at the heart of every crossroads of your shared, beautiful touches, the interlocking of your fingers and joining of your pulse points against each other.

Gimli

Gifts- Gimli would hand you all of Arda on a silver platter if such was possible. You are just about all the world, a realization of every pursuit of beauty, a gift in and of itself he would repay with any amount of his people’s wealth. Even the most modest gift from you is treasure in his eyes, something that tethers your thoughts as it made him rise to the forefront of your mind- what a blessing!

Words of Affirmation- Love of nature’s many virtues, many displays of greatness and beauty, keeps Gimli’s eyes fixed upon the world around him. Or it did until you came along, and suddenly his eyes are only upon you. Every statement made about those fairest things which he has seen are only to speak of how they pale in comparison to you. That every hint of the earth's beauty he strives to preserve and show to all who would admire it radiates from your very smile. You, this most beautiful thing, are his. Your own person wholly, but one gift he need not fully share. All Gimli's words upon this subject are either reverent praises or statements of your virtues and personal strengths as facts.

Frodo

Words of Affirmation- Being a very emotional person, Frodo understands and feels the ebbs and flows of the mind’s waves. So much does he endure that sometimes all that can reach him is a comforting word, a reminder that he is not alone. That what he does is worthwhile. Eloquent as his uncle raised him to be, he uses his words to reassure you too. To express all the beauty of the world around you and compare your comfort to that of warm sunshine and grassy fields. To share every reason you were put upon the earth.

Physical Touch- This one tends to surprise people, but touch makes Frodo feel loved. He expresses his care with forehead kisses and holding hands, whether this is with friends or romantically. Touch can connect you literally and figuratively- the act of holding each other up and supporting each other’s hearts is only strengthened by joined hands or held and helped bodies.

Sam

Physical Touch- The feeling of closeness and connection brings a flush of joy up through Sam’s heart unlike anything else. The comfort of a touch is unmatched in his mind, even if it reddens his face and speeds his heartbeat. It’s worth it if it’s you. It’s not all about that, either- offering his hand to help you up, opening his arms when you are feeling sad or broken, even simply falling asleep at your side. The feeling of your weight upon his or your joined skin is intimate, warm. Never gets old.

Quality Time- The reason he loves you? Quite simply it is you. Sam doesn’t need a fancy present or a trip to the grandest city in Middle Earth to love you, he just needs you by his side making his heart race with your smile and every time you take his hand. When he’s nervous your presence eases him. When you’re in danger, you give him courage because he knows he’s standing up for the most important thing in the world: the gift that is you.

Merry

Words of Affirmation- At the end of the day, Merry values concrete communication and reminders. He will tell you he loves and values you because, simple as day, it’s true. The words pour from his lips without a second thought, rushing with the natural power and flow of a waterfall tumbling off rocks. His reassurances are spoken easy as breaths, phrased as truths unquestionable because he truly cannot fathom anything beyond his reality that you are beautiful, capable, his partner in crime, a gift to him.

Acts of Service- Just as words are concrete in Merry’s mind, actions are the mirror, the reflection to his anchoring statements. Following through on showing you he cares. He fights for you, be it with actions or stepping forth with words in your defense, righteous anger at any insult directed your way. The moment any pain or ill health takes you, Merry is there happily making a nest and preparing every possible care he can provide you, even if it is simply to stay by your side and remind you how strong you are.

Pippin

Physical Touch- Closeness is what makes him feel most loved. The reassurance that you want to be with him, you want the feeling of him against you in some way. Many people have pushed him away, kept their distance from him, so those that choose to be by his side? They set his heart soaring with fullness. His love for you is deep and big and boundless and it manifests in wanting to feel you, to maintain this closeness. Magnetic pulls, simply put, anchor him physically to the love he thought was unattainable for so long.

Quality Time- In conjunction with his desire for physical tethers to you, Pippin thrives on reminders of your choice. He genuinely loves to be around you, too; you make him so happy! Around you, Pippin can be himself and also look at and listen to you, and what a wonderful bonus that is! He doesn't need anything fancy, even just a pair of chairs, simply to hear your words and do his best to make you smile. He'll do just about anything with you, talking and dancing and picnicking and berry picking and napping and reading and painting and bathing and laughing and even crying if you can support and enjoy each other's presence in the process.

Faramir

Words of Affirmation- Faramir works tirelessly to give what he did not receive. Having never been affirmed growing up, he makes a concerted effort to express what he loves and respects about you. All the good you do in his life and in the world around you- reminders that you have a place amidst it all. He crumples at your many words of comfort, the utter love and reassurance that pours from you easily. Answering back to Faramir's every doubt whispering from years deep in the corners of his mind. Your speech brings a special, tearful smile to Faramir's face, which leans into your hand as you caress his cheek and appreciate him more and more.

Quality Time- Conspicuity fails upon Faramir. He needs no grand gift or sacrifice when he can simply have you. Your hand in his, your laugh as he tells an old story from his childhood, descriptions of your every dream shared to him in a moment of beautiful vulnerability. Talking to you, laughing and crying with you, that feeling of an amazing person giving him full focus, will never age in his mind and his heart.

Eomer

Gifts- Eomer prefers physical representations of his caring- things that can be held, felt, used. Of course, things that lead their recipients to think of the other every time they lay a hand upon it. His gifts tend to be practical, things that will be used often, but as you draw closer his natural sense of provision takes over, lending him to spoil you with more beautiful things.

Quality Time- At the end of the day, what matters most to Eomer is to have someone to come home to. A presence which is consistent. Warm. A shoulder to lean on and a neck to bury himself in as he mutters about his day and asks you about yours as well. Beyond anything he wants to know that you want to be around him as much as he would like the same.

Eowyn

Words of Affirmation- Most of all she loves to hear and share love audibly, a reassurance that you care. Words to attempt expressing even the beginning of her feelings’ depth and breadth. In all of Eowyn’s life there has been doubt, uncertainty, a feeling of wrongness. You are right. You see her right, speak it as if into existence.

Acts of Service- Beyond defending you with her life upon the battlefield, Eowyn naturally finds herself servicing and providing. Years of work in service have attuned her to the needs of others, your own included. She attempts to cook for you, insists on sitting you down to bandage your wounds, and dotes on you if you have periods especially if they are painful or nauseating to you.

Haldir

Acts of Service- Expressing himself in words is difficult. Leaving things you need in accessible locations? Cleaning your weapons or tools? Coming to your rescue if you find yourself staring into the face of danger, Valar forbid, and holding and caring for you pours every ounce of Haldir's love into you- can you feel it? Your responses show that love need not always be spoken.

Quality Time- In a similar vein, Haldir feels the honor of your presence and wishes to honor you. Being more of a listener than a speaker, it gives him great joy to sit at your side and hear your thoughts, your musings, even your comings and goings of the day. It takes him out of his battle formations or the pressure of maintaining the purity and safety of his beloved Lothlórien.

Galadriel

Words of Affirmation- Galadriel's gifts give her unique sight into your heart, though she tries not to pry and look too deeply. However, bearing witness to the waves in your mind and, of course, seeing them upon your face, moves her beyond the stillness of her sight. Deep vision grants her access to just the right words to pull a smile back from the clouds rolling across your countenance. In turn, your words center Galadriel, anchor her to a world she sometimes feels out of place in. Pull her back from the longing she feels and loneliness unlearned.

Gifts- In a way, she likes to show her innate sense for you. A gift that is exactly what you want or need proves Galadriel’s place in your life in a way she never realized how strongly she desired or needed. Always did she have a place, but it was lonely. Until you showed up and made eternity more bearable. She cannot help decking you out in pretty things, though many of her gifts are practical, functional. She has to keep you safe, after all.

Elrond

Quality Time- What could be more important to one who has lived so many lives of men over? Beauty can fade and things can break, but there is no replacing you. You who is there to listen, to take the burden off of those years, you who share a perspective unlike any Elrond has seen before, who honor him with the gift of your presence and the choice to be by his side every single day. What could make him feel more loved?

Words of Affirmation- Being together means seeing the darker side of each other. Shedding tears otherwise unseen, lamenting that which might never have been shared. The one boon of seeing so much darkness in his lifetime is that Elrond knows what will pass, possesses wisdom beyond his perceived years that he can whisper as he holds you.

Arwen

Words of Affirmation- Playful as she can be with you, Arwen peppers you with genuine descriptions of your virtues, lacing her words with the love she has for you. Her perception is deep, accurate, precise in the way she understands and speaks praises and observations. Her words show how she listens and is willing to bear your burdens despite the years of her own she has endured. That she knows you will do the same for her and has the utmost confidence in the love you have both chosen.

Physical Touch- Arwen's touches are ephemeral, feather-light, but sensual and meaningful beyond nothing else. The simply slide of her fingers over the skin of your arm or chest, resting over your heart, speaks volumes of her feelings before she leans in to connect your lips. The tingles that burst beneath your skin bring smiles to your lips and awe to your heart that such an amazing elf sees you like a mirror, the same love and beauty you proclaim staring back at her for her to ravish.

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[love-marimo]

Dancing in the Rain (Neuvillette x Reader)

Lolita's Note: ー in which you saw neuvillette standing by the porch in the midst of a downpour of rain ー you asked him to dance, and little did you know it soothed his aching heart.

This, again, is taken from the actual lore of the hydro dragon crying whenever it rains!

There is a common superstition passed down through the hushed whispers in Fontaine…

…that when it rains, it is said that the Hydro dragon weeps.

It is something that you have always wondered about. You always thought about the things that made the hydro dragon cry, because it happens quite often too.

With that said, you have come to a realization that the Hydro Dragon must have a tender heart.

One that is as gentle as a morning drizzle.

Yet one that is as powerful as a thunderstorm blaring through the darkest of nights.

When the latter happens, you seek the arms of the one you love, Neuvillette. And somehow, when your bodies find each other, you swear to the archons that the storm has calmed down.

Even just a little.

The thing about Neuvillette is he does not like to display his emotions.

But he is very polite and courteous. He does not like to make anyone feel excluded, despite working in an occupation where a cutthroat attitude is necessary.

One can say that his personality becomes two sides of the same coin.

There is a middle ground, though ー a blurred space that combines these said facets of his personality. One that he fails to hide every single time.

One that comes out when it rains.

"Darling? Neuvillette?" You shift on your shared bed in a half-asleep state, looking for him.

When you sense that he's not inside your bedroom, you lit up a lamp and searched for him in your shared home.

It's been raining pretty hard these days. Coincidentally in your point of view, Neuvillette has been acting odd. It's as if he's more uptight and aloof. You noticed that he also stays up pretty late ー sometimes you think he doesn't sleep at all.

Another strange thing he frequently does, is he stands by the front porch watching the downpour of rain.

So now you definitely knew where he is.

Slowly, you hesitated to reach for his hair, but you did anyway. Caressing it gently, he was taken by surprise for a moment before he turned to you and gave you a small smile.

"Oh, my dear. You should go back to bed. We still have two hours before it is morning." He curtly tells you before he holds you closer to him.

"It seems that you want me to stay, though." You chuckle, placing your hand on top of his.

He lets out a small laugh ー one that comes out as a content sigh.

The loud downpour of the rain calmed down into a somber drizzle.

"Do you still find storms scary?" He asked you, while he looked out to the distance. You nod in reply. He sighs once again, as if he's apologizing that it cannot be helped.

"As long as you're here, I'm going to be fine." You held his hand and took him with you outside, a sudden idea of dancing in the rain popped in your head.

"What are you doing?" He asked you, a bit alarmed.

"Let's dance in the rain!" You exclaim.

"You're going to catch a cold." Neuvillette tries to take you back inside.

"Then take care of me when that happens!" You retort.

Neuvillette laughs. It sounded more genuine now.

It continued raining, but unlike the violent storm before, it poured gently on your skin. The man brushes a wet strand of your hair that covered your face and smiles at you again.

"Very well. Lead the way, monsieur/mademoiselle." Neuvillette put his hand over his chest, while you held the hem of your dress shirt on both sides.

After you bowed, you took Neuvillette's hands and guided them ー one finds its way on your waist and the other holds your hand.

"We don't have music, so let's just pretend that we are dancing to the melody of the rain." You laugh, as you begin dancing to the rhythm of waltz.

You both shared tender laughs and danced in the rain like children, even if the only light that illuminated you were the lamps of your home.

"I am sorry. I should've stayed in bed. I don't want you to be the one seeking my presence every time you feel afraid, upset, or terrible in general." He sighs.

Just as you wonder if the hydro dragon has a human form, Neuvillette wonders if you already cracked the code.

"Hydro dragon, don't cry. Hydro dragon, don't cry." You started to chant softly, as if lulling a weeping child.

He softened at your expression. As he spun you around he asked,

"Where did you learn that?"

"Oh, nothing. I thought it would be nice if the Hydro dragon hears it. I mean, not that it would be of much help." You chuckle.

Neuvillette then finds himself repeating the same words.

"Yeah that's it, let's chant it together!"

Hydro Dragon, don't cry.

Hydro Dragon, don't cry.

Hydro Dragon, don't cry.

Neuvillette admires your gentle nature. One touch, one word, and one look ー all of his worries dissipate.

All of his woes disappear.

And of course, the heavy rainfall that he brings forth once he has a heavy heart stops.

Just like now.

"Oh? The rain stopped!" You squealed in excitement.

"Yes, it seems that the hydro dragon heard us." He replied.

The skies cleared to reveal the slight glimmer of light at the crack of dawn.

Looking up, you can still see the full moon.

"Come, let us go back inside and dry ourselves. We still have a few hours of sleep to catch." Neuvillette tells you, guiding you back to your shared home.

"I wonder if the Hydro dragon really heard us. I hope whatever troubles them is resolved soon." You say as he tucks you to bed.

To him, if it's you, then he can get used to your lullaby ー a hushed chanting of his name, one that seeks to comfort his sonder heart.

ー Lolita

[inbarfink]

I mean, I (and others) did predict Fionna coming to the realization that ‘Simon being Ice King again is very very bad actually’ via watching IK’s old tapes - in a thematic reversal of Holly Jolly Secrets…. You know, Finn learned to like Ice King more after learning about Simon Petrikov and who he used to be, Fionna learned to like Simon Petrikov more after really learning about Ice King and who he used to be. 

But the thing that really stuck with me about how the show pulled it off is how… tame that video was. Compared to what the audience knows about how terrible Ice King could get. 

Most of the video Fionna saw was Ice King goofing off, with just the last clip giving her a tiny little taste of how prone he was to fits of anger and extreme misery

She didn’t get to see the videos of Ice King crying for literal hours on end, she didn’t get to see him throw tantrums that make him a legitimate danger for those around him, I don’t think she actually knows he used to kidnap and stalk women on a regular basis - but that’s okay, because she didn’t need to. That tiny little taste of Ice King’s misery and pain was really all she actually needed.

Because it really speaks to how little she actually understood of the Ice King’s situation before. How much seeing that one little clip of him back in “Prismo the Wishmaster'' gave her such a totally wrong impression of what Ice King was like

that just seeing him yell at Gunter and cry once is enough to make her totally reexamine all of her preconceived notions about him.

And it really speaks how despite her sometimes-childish attitude, Fionna really possesses a lot of emotional intelligence. Both in how quickly she correctly gauged that Ice King’s behavior in the last clip was a regular thing for him and probably not even his worst moment and that his anger was yet another expression of his being 'super-sad'

And how clearly her Second Thoughts about the Crown Plan didn’t start when she saw Ice King yell - they started when she saw how despite working so hard on getting himself Cursed again, Simon still couldn’t bear the idea of watching videos of Ice King’s ‘Good Times’.

Because as much as it was important for Fionna to really know Ice King in order to fathom just how terrible the Crown Plan was, it was also equally important for her to really know Simon as well.

When she was so dismissive toward Simon’s plight in the Prismo episode, and when she so eagerly and thoughtlessly jumped on the Crown Plan - she really knew nothing about either facets of his identity. She only got such a quick clip of Ice King actually in a good mood, and all she’s seen of Simon was him at his lowest point - rude, dismissive, screaming at her face, literally considering letting her whole world burn in his own depressive spiral. 

It’s only after they reached Farmworld and officially started to work towards the Crown Plan that Fionna really started to know who Simon Petrikov is when he’s not at rock bottom. That’s when she learned how intelligent

And dorky

And kind

And comforting 

And fatherly 

And a silly little hopeless romantic for his GF

he is. 

And they became real friends and she really grew fond of all of these things about him. So now, watching clips of Ice King… it takes her some time to process it, clearly, but it also bothers her how little of these traits that she likes about her friend and he likes about himself she can see in the crazy old Ice Wizard.

Seeing also how mad and sad he could be was just what clinched the deal for her, the last excuse she could find for why it was okay (“Maybe he really was happier like that?”) gone.

And that also relates to her more general anxieties about the Crown Plan from farther in the same episode.

Now that she’s seen how much being infused Magic changed Simon… It's no wonder she’s so worried about how Magic will change her and Cake and all of her loved ones.

And it’s not a totally unfounded fear. We’re still not exactly sure how bringing Magic back into Simon’s brain will affect Fionnaworld - but it will most likely work the same as it did the other way around? When Fionnaworld first lost its magic? So that will mean not only the people and the world will change physically, but their memories and minds will also be altered as if they always lived in the Magical World and never in the Mundane world Fionna remembers.

And that will kinda make them into different people. Gary Prince and Prince Gumball feel like the most obvious comparison. One is a literal god-king who seems to have at least a bit of the old Bubblegum Hubris problem

The other is just a humble little put-on Barista trying to make it big

Becoming Prince Gumball again would be in some way the ultimate fulfilment of Gary's dream - not just a Pastry Mansion but a whole Candy Kingdom! But... it would also mean giving up on all of the memories and experiences of ever having been Gary Prince. And... it's at least worth considering if it's worth it.

We know that Change doesn't have to be all bad, Cake the Cat will testify to that

I'm sure that from her perspective, having every bit of her memories wiped and replaced is worth it if she can keep her mind and ability to speak.

But Fionna's little Storytime with Simon, I think, really gave Fionna a look to how much his reminiscing is important to him

and really gave her a glimpse to how much people's history and memories effect who they are, and seeing this and seeing what ‘turning into a different and more magical person without your original memories’ did to Simon Petrikov

It’s really no wonder it makes Fionna worried.

[d0ngmnzzz]

boynextdoor jaehyun mini personality analysis

(natal chart reading)

placements: sagittarius sun, aries moon, capricorn mercury, capricorn venus, pisces mars

- unfortunately I do not have his birth time so this reading will be based on planetary signs and aspects

GENERAL :

jaehyun is a generally fun guy that has a tie between his ambitions and optimism. he understands the importance of alignment and tries his best to be on the same wavelength as everyone, he can be very optimistic and thinks/assumes the best in most situations however sometimes he can let himself down or expect/promise more than he can. though he can come across as a bit more hyper and immature there’s actually an introspective and mature attitude about how he thinks and his opinions. extremely ambitious, more than we think. he has a lot of squares and oppositions in his chart meaning he may have clashes between certain facets of his personality leading to contradictions but since they’re separating with time and more growing up he will find more ease.

EMOTIONAL COMPASS:

his feelings rise to the surface instantly and he has a clear blunt cut sense of what he feels; his feelings practically rush through him. many people associate aries moon with being prone to anger however this isn’t always the case because it can also indicate borderline sensitivity and having their feelings be extremely raw. however his moon is square saturn and trine pluto, leading to his feelings to possibly be overwhelming. he has a clear idea of what emotionally irritates him and. typically avoids or disposes things that make him upset

SOCIABILITY:

he’s easy to get along and be very friendly with especially since he’s very good at setting up lively moods. he’s a fun and entertaining person and is forward in his approach to people. however it may not be the easiest to get genuinely close to him which may be surprising due to his abilities to bond with anyone, however his capricorn venus opposes saturn in cancer leads to him having very set emotional boundaries with people, he is definitely an ambivert that is extroverted on the outside but definitely more shy and introverted internally.

GREEN FLAGS:

his sagittarius sun trining his aries moon creates an ability to balance to dedicating to a bigger picture and idea with enough ambition, on a baseline level he is very determined. his mercury sextiles uranus and parallels venus so he definitely thinks outside of the box and has a natural inclination of artistic ability. he also has jupiter squaring pluto leading to his talents and success to always growing and he’s likely a very giving and generous person to those he cares about and also likely has a very significant idea of morality and doing right by others as well as probably understands the importance of reciprocation

RED FLAGS:

with his moon square saturn and sun sextile neptune he may have a tendency to people please or mold himself to suit someone’s preferences due to feeling a sense of responsibility and control of how someone perceives and interacts with him, he may also hold back in expressing himself if he fears that his feelings and opinions aren’t suitable to the person he’s communicating with (this is pushed more due to his capricorn mercury, he is more inward with his thoughts) his pisces mars being square pluto and opposing jupiter can also indicate that he can be continuously demanding to the point it can become taxing and difficult to please him emotionally/internally

EXTRAS:

him being the leader is very fitting, placements being in masculine fire signs and in feminine earth signs makes for someone who is inherently capable of leading but can facilitate things very well but carefully

with his venus opposing saturn in combination with an aries moon he may have had very assertive, tough and maybe even abrasive female/feminine figures in his life leading to him being a go getter as well

his aries moon paired with his mars opposing jupiter explains his need for physical stimulation, and it could definitely be an outlet for any competitive or tense feelings he’s dealing with

he may switch between immaturity and maturity in certain scenarios in my honest opinion, there may be moments where he’s very childish and others where he has a very adult pov

[gatheringbones]

["In thinking specifically about sexual experiences, and what I have and haven’t experienced with men of the realm I know is possible with women, I run into a vocabulary problem. We barely have words for the most concrete, physical elements of our sexuality, let alone the mental, emotional, and spiritual elements of it.

   One experience I’ve had only with women is associated with fisting, in a context where it went both ways in the relationship. (Non-reciprocal fisting feels different for me, even with women.) At times, this has been much beyond a bodily experience, transcendent perhaps. From a “bottom” perspective, I have sometimes moved through the physical sensations, letting them go, and traveled to another plane of consciousness. From a “top” perspective I have moved through fucking a woman with very conscious care to a place where my body did it, without thought, but closely in tune with her and feeling what she felt. To a certain extent I was also in tune with her on the other dimension, not going with her so much as seeing where she went. Probably some form of transcendent sex is possible with men, but I haven’t experienced it, and I imagine it would be quite different.

   I think some lesbian-specific facets of sexuality are about making love with someone with a body like my own. This allows me to understand what she feels, and to be understood, in a much clearer, more immediate way than is possible in much of heterosexuality. This kind of knowing is particularly strong with women whose sexuality is like my own. There are other, more specific elements. The feelings of being very inside someone, of that kind of openness in a woman lover, and of being enclosed is something I like a lot and don’t have with men. I feel men open to me, but in a different way, and I never really feel enclosed by them.

   Another lesbian-specific feeling has to do with being a woman wanting a woman, and the amazement which stays with me, even when I know she wants me, that she wants me. Subconsciously I think I’m still affected by the social messages that women want men, and therefore, women don’t want me. In a sense it still surprises me when they do. It doesn’t surprise me that men want me. I’ve been conditioned all my life to expect it.

   These are things I feel are fundamentally different with men and women. There is also quite a bit that I think is not necessarily exclusive to one or the other gender, but in practical terms usually is.

   One dimension of sexuality I have explored with men, but not with women, is taking the position of “top” for my own pleasure. I have played with clearly defined sexual roles with women, but as “top” when I have taken a woman, it has always been with a focus on her pleasure, and my own has come secondarily through pleasing her. With men I have sometimes taken a position of absolute control for my own pleasure.

   The most extreme instance was my first sex with a man since I came out. It was an affair at a conference which I began very ambiguously, unsure of whether I could get what I wanted sexually from a man. Once I decided that I wanted him, I also decided that the responsibility for my pleasure was my own. I took him, and I had my pleasure with him. In later discussions with lesbian friends I was asked whether I didn’t think I had “used” him. I feel clearly that I did not. It was something that he wanted and enjoyed, and, though my focus was on my own pleasure, I wasn’t insensitive to him. He was responsive to me, and gave freely what I demanded. He had his pleasure through mine. I can’t really imagine having this kind of sex with a woman, though I’m sure it’s possible, and that women do it. I think it would be a delicate thing, psychologically, but with this man it was easy.

   My experience of role dynamics, in both explicit and unacknowledged forms, is very different, in sex with men and women. I would like to hear from gay men who have started being sexual with women in relation to this. I have also found it very different making love with “straight” women, or women who are accustomed to sex with straight men, and with “lesbians,” or women used to sex with women. And this is not only a question of knowledge or technique, but also of the perspective with which women come to sexuality.

   For the last year I have been sexual a lot, mainly with a man whose sexuality has been shaped by making love with straight women, while mine has been shaped by making love with lesbians. We’ve both changed. Some of these changes are good in our relationship, but some of them don’t work for me.

   Have you ever been with a person of one sex and wanted something impossible with that combination of bodies?]

Karen Klassen, talking about sex, gender, and desire, from bi any other name: bisexual people speak out, edited by Lorraine Hutchins and Lani Kaahumanu, 1991

[astrojulia]

How you receive your insights

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Where does your Eureka moment come from? So, Uranus' position in your birth chart can shed light on the areas where you are most likely to receive insights and experience transformative new directions in life. Let's explore each house and the corresponding themes:

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 1st house:

You are often receiving new insights into yourself, discovering yourself in front of your fears, desires and the deepest parts of your identity, it is as if nothing of yours can remain obscure from yourself and you end up revealing all your facets sooner or later. Your keen understanding of the self can give you excellent psychoanalytic or people-reading skills.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 2nd house:

Your insights revolve around being resourceful, knowing how to deal with material things in an innovative and spontaneous way, as if you don't have a spoon to stir a glass, but you have a fork that can do it and that's okay. You have your ideas when you need to solve material money issues and when you ask yourself what kind of value you want, is it material? Psychological? Academic? Self-management?

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 3rd house:

Your receptivity to higher meanings allows you to gain insights from routine experiences. Changes in direction can happen quickly, making it seem like you are undergoing total transformations to those around you. Your drive to apply insights practically and effectively can lead to meaningful learning and personal growth.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 4th house:

Your insights, in addition to coming when you're lying in your bed trying to sleep but you can't, or when you're working at home and have a new idea, they come when you ask yourself as a member of your family and sometimes society, which it is your role as a sister, mother, cousin and these questions can be extended to a neighbor, citizen, (insert your nationality here).

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 5th house:

You receive your insights when you have a beautiful smile on your face, that is, in moments of relaxation and happiness, when you feel that you have managed to put into matter what was in your mind for so long. You'll likely experience revelations regarding your creative abilities and ways to enhance them further. Delving into your artistic expressions might lead to transformative experiences. Additionally, these insights can extend to your interactions with children, influencing innovative approaches to nurturing and understanding them.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 6th house:

Your insights tend to come to you when you are fully engaged in your work or daily routines. You possess a unique ability to see unconventional solutions to practical problems, which makes you a valuable asset in any team or workplace. Your capacity to innovate in your job or health-related matters can lead to sudden breakthroughs, transforming not just your life but also the lives of those around you.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 7th house:

Your insights often come through your interactions with others, especially in one-on-one relationships and partnerships. You have an innate curiosity about the people you connect with, leading you to understand their motivations and desires on a deeper level. This ability grants you an edge in negotiating and finding unconventional solutions in partnerships, whether it's in business or personal relationships.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 8th house:

Your insights are closely tied to profound emotional experiences and moments of introspection. You are drawn to explore the depths of your psyche and the mysteries of life, often undergoing transformative journeys that uncover hidden truths about yourself and the world around you. These insights may come through encounters with intense situations, shared resources, or during intimate connections with others.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 9th house:

Your receptivity to insights flourishes when you step out of your comfort zone and explore new horizons, both mentally and physically. You're likely to receive transformative insights through travel, higher education, or engaging in philosophical discussions. Your open-mindedness and willingness to challenge traditional beliefs enable you to grasp profound truths and understand complex concepts effortlessly.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 10th house:

Your insights are often related to your career, public image, and the impact you wish to make on the world. You possess an innovative approach to leadership and are not afraid to challenge the status quo in your professional life. Your ability to see opportunities where others might see obstacles can lead to unexpected career advancements and recognition.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 11th house:

Your insights tend to come through your involvement in groups, communities, or social causes. You thrive in collaborative environments where ideas are freely exchanged, and you are eager to bring about positive change. Your progressive thinking and visionary ideas make you a catalyst for transformative initiatives that benefit society as a whole.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ Uranus 12th house:

Your insights often arise during moments of solitude and introspection. You possess a deep connection to the collective unconscious and your higher self, which allows you to tap into universal wisdom and hidden knowledge. You might experience transformative insights through dreams, meditation, or artistic expressions. Embracing your intuitive nature and exploring the spiritual realms can lead to profound personal growth and healing.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

[copperbadge]

More on mindfulness and meditation

I feel like perhaps I came across as anti-meditation in that last post I did on it, and there were some folks who were a bit vocal about not liking meditation in the notes, but the notes also had some great and interesting discussion of what can count as mindfulness that isn't traditional meditation and what some alternatives might be, so I wanted to do a follow-up. Especially since I don't think I'm going to get to respond to everyone individually.

The post was not meant to be anti-meditation, but to express frustration with the way meditation frequently is, or rather fails to be, taught. I can understand why people would struggle with "mindfulness" (vastly overused term) and meditation, so I'm not here to argue with or shame anyone, and I really appreciate the alternative suggestions. But because mindfulness can mean so many things, and people can meditate for many different reasons, I wanted to talk a little about why I'm being asked to do it.

It's easy to lose track of why one might try meditation for mental health, because the cause and effect are so temporally dislocated from each other. I try to keep in mind that my specific goal is emotional regulation deriving from increased present-moment attention. Some of the stuff that was suggested is great for a goal other than this, like puzzle games that allow people to empty their racing minds or activity that brings someone back into their body when dissociating -- both extremely laudable functions! -- but that's not why I'm here. Meditation is meant, for me, to be a maintenance medication, not a rescue inhaler.

There is science that suggest that mindfulness practice, under a specific definition of the term, can help to manage emotional dysregulation, ameliorate Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and reduce depression and anxiety. I discuss the science in a slideshow here but essentially this specific form trains the attention into the present moment, which improves executive function -- and as we know, emotional regulation is a facet of executive function, so this leads to better emotional regulation.

There is not a lot of science on it yet so there is room here for yoursamplesizeissmall.jpg, but it's all we've got so I'm running with it. There is one foundational practice and three practices that build on it which effected this change in subjects of the study:

Breathing Meditation doesn't really confer any benefit the others don't, but the others all employ it as a basic practice. We know this can calm the parasympathetic nervous system, although to be honest I have not found that to be the case personally. As soon as I stop the deep breathing I'm right back where I was, likely because my issue is ruminational, not situational. But everything else wants you to breathe first, so I still have to do it.

Body Scan focuses attention on the body and as others have pointed out is good for people prone to dissociation. As I said in the other post, I live here; paying extra attention to my body isn't something I need. I was asked to try it anyway as part of a practice in keeping an open mind about stuff I think is dumb, and clearly I do need practice in that. Still, it's likely I'll be able to let this one go pretty soon.

Loving-Kindness asks you to think positively about others, expanding compassion from a single point outward to the world. I've encountered this before in reading Pema Chodron; I don't do it as meditation, but I do try to practice it in life because I am not naturally a patient or compassionate person, and that has been helpful in the sense that it keeps me from getting punched in the face a bunch. For me there's no real "train the attention to be in the present" aspect on account of that, however.

Observing-Thought is where you just sit with your thoughts, let them arise, sometimes label them in some way, and let them go. I was most interested in this purely because it's the only one I hadn't already encountered. I haven't found it useful so far, but I don't have enough data about it to be definitive, and if it is training executive function I would expect that to take time.

Now, I know that all four of these have science backing them, so I know that we're not just dealing in new-age woo here. The problem is functional, not theoretical. The issue overall is not "meditation is boring" -> "find a way to make it interesting", although I do appreciate that it may be an issue for others and I like that people were offering solutions. The issue for me is that the boredom derives from the fact that the meditation isn't being taught. There's no progressional learning -- there's no step-progress-reward-step-progress-reward like with most difficult skills.

Any task is boring if you aren't deriving any reward from it or you are being expected to execute it without skills or training, and in this case I'm facing down both. Long silences from a meditation leader are fine if you're there to engage with a practice you already have familiarity with, but if you're trying to learn, they are the opposite of helpful, and they are actively punishing to someone with ADHD.

I don't want to be entertained (I mean, generally I do, but in this case I don't expect it). What I want is a pedagogical approach that steps up to the practice rather than beginning with it, so that I know I'm doing it right, I experience rewards along the way similar to how I currently do learning Italian, and I have more confidence that what seems dull and fruitless actually will produce results.

Uh, so yeah thanks for coming to my TEDtalk; the fact that a practice that's especially hard for people with ADHD helps with almost every problem ADHD presents really sucks, and I wish we approached teaching meditation as if it were something you actually did have to learn rather than something you're supposed to Do Until You Get It. In the meantime I guess bumping the speed on the recording isn't the worst thing I could be doing.

[bitter-bats-cult-of-the-moon]

What is Toxic Spirituality?

Spirituality is the practice of getting to know yourself better on a deeper level and learning about the world around you.

While this can provide physical, mental, and emotional health benefits, it can also take a turn for the worse. Sometimes spirituality can push harmful messages, toxic positivity, judgment, gaslighting, and cultish behavior.

Nine Toxic Spirituality Habits

1.   Spiritual Bypassing and Toxic Positivity

Spiritual bypassing is when you use spiritual concepts to avoid certain emotions or situations in your life. 

Toxic positivity is when you believe you need to be always positive to gain proper manifestation of your desires.

Suppressing emotions can lead to a buildup of unprocessed thoughts dependent on circumstances, and eventually you will mentally implode.

2.   Spiritual Narcissism

Spiritual narcissism is the belief that your spirituality makes you better than others. It’s the Us vs. Them mentality.  

The stronger your ego identifies with a specific belief the more difficult it will be to see any issues.

3.   Idolizing Spiritual Teachers 

The best teachers are the ones that help connect you to your inner self. Their goal is to act as a guide more so rather than be the ultimate truth. 

The trouble idolizing spiritual mentors is that there will be a point you’re going to disagree, and it will cause cognitive dissonance if you see them for more than they are.

4.��  Superstitions and Attachment 

If you heavily rely on spiritual practices, items, and rituals to exist in the world and become solely dependent about superstitious beliefs linked to any of them, you are diminishing yourself.

You don’t need crystals to protect yourself.

You don’t need the wand to draw energy.

You don’t need the cauldron to burn incense or make potions. Although, even I can admit having one makes things more interesting.

5.   Hyper Discipline

I see this a lot. There are those that talk about the importance of discipline in spirituality. Likewise, I see others talk up the importance of flexibility.

Spirituality is a personal experience. If disciplined daily practices or rigid rituals work for you, then great, but if it feels forced reconsider things.

6.   Lack of Discernment

Not every spiritual practice will be right for you. Not everything will resonate. Not every metaphysical concept will ring truth. That’s good. It’s healthy to ask questions and think for yourself.

If you accept without question, you’re allowing yourself to be programmed by external forces becoming conditioned.

7.   Clinging to Truth

What’s true for you may not be true for someone else, and what was true for you last year may no longer be true for you today. 

Our beliefs can change over time as we learn and experience different facets to spirituality. Fighting for the word of truth or standing behind a specific religion promoting acts of war is an act of blasphemy. In that regard, belief and religious culture do not always coincide.

8.   Emotional Hypochondria

It’s possible to become attached to your own healing, making you feel the need to become a better, and better version of yourself.

Always overanalyzing everything will lead to an emotional burnout, and you will be hyper aware of every single feeling.  You will become self-depreciating, and you will be running in a circle like a silly hamster in its wheel going nowhere.

9.   Manic Manifesting

Shut up about manifestation.  I’m tired. It’s everywhere.  Constantly visualizing your desires, parroting affirmations, and trying to control every single frequency makes it feel manic.

Thinking on what you don’t have will make you see less of what you do have, and it is like beating yourself up mentally every day for those things you do not have.

Thinking on it without action is an obsession. The secret was a fun concept for a book, but unless you put it into actual action. There will be no change, Laws of physics, every action has a reaction. Because thinking is more like potential energy, but that still needs an activator. No one is going to miraculously fix things for you. You can do worksheets on what you want every day for the rest of your life, but at the end of your life you will have nothing you want except a pile of worksheets with your hopes and dreams that never happened.        

Diminishing Toxic Spirituality

If you’ve been participating in toxic spirituality, own it and grow from it. Be mindful of your intentions, ask questions, and navigate your experiences.

When something isn’t working you will know it, when you realize that something is wrong, it may have already set you back. When something keeps replaying in your mind, maybe that’s an area to work on. Or delve deeper, but with an analytical mind, rather than one that accepts everything. It’s like eating at a buffet. You can see the chicken is green, you can smell its rancid. But the person with you says it’s good. Are you going to take that at face value and trust them, or make your own choice?

Correct motivations for spirituality, belonging to a group is great. They help people feel connected, and it gives joy to be able to connect. While it is not for everyone, some people see the appeal in it, but as a result can become absorbed into the group and lose their individuality. Their need to be accepted can drive them to poor decision making, at the expense of their autonomy due to peer pressure.

Some go into practice to fuel their ego or have something unique and quirky to talk about. If it’s a fad, it probably isn’t the best idea. If you must run around yelling to your bullies at school, I'm a witch I will curse you. That is likely not the right reason to delve into a spiritual journey. While it may be doing it for your own sense of internal control over an aspect of your life, the journey becomes more about what you have against others, rather than delving within yourself and finding yourself.

Money, Power, Quick fixes. Spirituality and religions offer seemingly quick results with fake promises. Love spells, Churches, Community support. While in theory sounds too good to believe. Often the promises made by various people, groups, and sectors of religion can be very appealing; at times it is used for the profit of the people providing the services.

You would be surprised how many people offer snake oil, or a djinn in a ring for money. To give you all you want. If you are looking for your life to magically be alright, please remember this isn’t a modern fairytale.

Happy endings happen in movies because they can’t fit it all into an 80-minute run. There's character development, there’s ups downs, trials and moments of success and happiness. Without those moments, we don’t really discover who we are. We are more of a hollow once off character in a movie playing a role. We do not find us; we do not create... an Us in such a short time.

It’s best to be yourself, and not part of some collective.

The spiritual journey is yours so do it for yourself.

[beneathsilverstars]

You've established that Odile has rather unhinged taste in people. Do you have further headcanons on that topic?

Hm... Most of the adjacent headcanons that I could talk about here would require a lot of psychological and cultural context. So let's just talk about that context!

As a child, Odile was disconnected from her peers due to heritage, temperament, and latent transgenderism. As lonely children sometimes do, she decided that she didn't need or want friends anyway, and even if she did, it wouldn't be any of these losers! They were always wasting their time on fun and social useless things that she was too weird smart and special to be invited want to do. She studied very hard and excelled in school, did a couple extracurriculars that didn't require much teamwork, and at some point during adolescence realized that unfortunately the Vaugardians were correct about the changing genders thing.

Ka Buan philosophy encourages people to understand themselves, refine themselves, explore different facets of themselves — but not change themselves, because fundamental characteristics simply cannot be changed. Accordingly, gender-noncomforming fashion and binding/padding and nicknames are fine, hormones and surgery/bodycraft and declaring yourself a different gender are not. But Odile wasn't one to let social mores stop her, so once she reached adulthood, she left her hometown and showed up at the city as Odile. And not just any city, but one with a reputation for cutting-edge craft research and certain countercultures.

You can't just show up and ask around for where the illegal bodycrafting is, though. You have to meet people, win their trust, let them introduce you to other people, repeat. Odile... honestly wasn't that great at it. She hadn't had much cause to practice social skills, so she wasn't very friendly or persuasive! But she was determined, thorough, confident, passionate, genuine in her intentions, and newly hot — and you can get away with a certain amount of blunt arrogance when you're hot. You just have to let people assume you're too cool and busy for humble niceties, which Odile did quite easily, because she's always thought of herself as such. So she found her way through the right queer punk circles eventually and completed her physical transition!

And she liked those circles. The people she met and the topics they discussed and the things they did were all so much more interesting than she had assumed any peers of hers could be! But she still considered herself more competent and correct than anyone else around her, because why would that change just because she moved? Her success in transitioning just further proved that she could do anything if she tried hard enough, that she was right all along in assuming her social failures were due not to lack of skill but last of interest. So she ended up in this dynamic where she was impressed by the people around her and wanted to have fun with them and learn more about them, but also thought herself better than them and above such things as kindness or friendship.

And she was in that "holy shit I'm surrounded by dykes and I'm a dyke now too" stage that some queer people experience after they come out.

So, she wasn't interested in boring. She wasn't interested in nice. She wasn't interested in regular people with regular concerns, like the peers who excluded her in her youth. She wasn't interested in romance or committed relationships or being emotionally vulnerable.

And, she wasn't put off by annoyance, because people annoyed her as a whole anyway. She wasn't put off by danger, because she was sure she could handle anything. She wasn't put off by clashing personalities, because it wasn't like she was planning to go on long walks on the beach with any of her partners anyway.

Thus, she found herself drawn to the most exciting people in the room. Interpersonal drama, emotional outbursts, poorly-thought-out-choices, intense obsession, risky hobbies... it was all oh-so thrilling! Of course, she did realize that the people she was attracted to had major, glaring flaws. But Odile was determined, thorough, confident, passionate, genuine in her intentions, and newly hot. If she couldn't fix them, who could?

We know from Odile's optional sidequest that when she sees something suspicious, she dedicates herself to solving the mystery. We know from her presence at Mirabelle's side that when she sees a problem, she steps in to help, because if you want something done right you do it yourself. The one major exception? The topic that has her backing down, giving up, confessing incompetence?

Emotions.

She has long since learned that she is not actually very good at fixing those.

[crystalsenergy]

Solar placements - areas for Self-improvement 🩶

To remind ourselves that we are in constant evolution and improvement,

and that the beauty of being lies in recognizing ourselves for what we are and for what we can still become.

Sun in Aries - Extremely temperamental, always conveying to others exactly what you're feeling. This, combined with the attribute of being direct, makes you someone who can negatively influence situations and people unnecessarily by not being able to control your instincts and emotions. Accept your traits because their root is important and valid. So, neither reject nor overdo it; always seek balance.

Sun in Taurus - Attachment, material accumulation, and comfort zone, preventing you from seeing things around you that could add more value. You might miss seeing those around you who could need something you have but no longer need (from food to clothing, for example). This attachment also applies to long-held ideas that no longer serve you. Recycle, review.

Sun in Gemini - Inconsistency, recklessness. Lack of restraint can lead to a lack of focus, and long-term lack of focus can lead to accumulated wasted time. Always paying attention to many things but not integrating and learning from them. Direct your mental energy. Spend real time with your thoughts and emotions. Remember that you are a universe of possibilities, open and eager to understand everything, but always work on presence—for yourself and others.

Sun in Cancer - Little attention to the present, much attention to the past. Be aware of how much you might focus on seeing life, yourself, and others based on the past, often subconsciously. Viewing someone’s actions through the internal filter of a past situation, or seeing yourself through past experiences. The key is to embrace your emotions, as your essence already allows for greater openness. Focus on understanding how the past still affects you, reframe, transform, and understand all of this in the most welcoming way possible 🤍.

Sun in Leo - Too much dramatic approach to life, less vision of what things really are. Some Leos sometimes struggle to approach life and their issues realistically and concretely. This is normal to some extent, part of the process. The negative aspect is when this becomes extreme and the only way to deal with life. Imagination and creativity (which ultimately underlie drama, often an exaggeration of creativity and imagination) are important facets, as your essence involves being creative and playful. But be aware of how much you don’t see things as they really are when dealing with life in an overly creative way. You fall into some illusions and imaginations created by your mind, often driven by ego. Work on a state of consciousness. Less emotion, more reason!

Sun in Virgo - Too much repetition, too many patterns, little real adaptation. It's crucial for Virgo to notice this in themselves because when we don’t open up to various ways of seeing and dealing with life, we get stuck, fall into nets, patterns, mental "prisons," and this isn’t good. Before a moment, phase, or situation arises where you will be forced to adapt abruptly, try to reflect as much as you can on your hidden inflexibilities and adaptation difficulties that sometimes appear in small things but can become more intense adaptation difficulties over time, affecting various areas of your life. Handle your internal patterns with kindness and compassion 🤍 no one is born to stagnate! 🤍.

Sun in Libra - Imbalances in giving and receiving (i.e., wanting to give too much, finding it hard to receive). You, Libra, tend to pay a lot of attention to how much you receive because you like a balanced scale and want to see everything fair and equal, giving and receiving in equal measure. This is exemplary; it’s important to notice what we receive to work on gratitude. However, focusing too much on what needs to be done, especially based on what someone has already done for you, can hinder more than move you. This can generate guilt and a feeling of always being "in debt." Therefore, practice receiving without necessarily feeling an obligation to give back. Understand why and what you are receiving, if it is something that is not a gesture of reciprocation from the other for something you have done continuously. Don’t feel guilty for receiving a lot. We all deserve it, in essence.

Sun in Scorpio - Your depth should not be destructive, to yourself or others. Notice how much you really control your emotions as much as you want. The aim is not to provoke control, quite the opposite, but to show that the more you try to control, the less you manage to live well. The result is rarely positive when we go for control, of ourselves, of others. By the natural mechanism of action and reaction, everything we emit returns, so controlling makes you eternally relive this energy in your life. Let go more, as much as you can. Your depth should not be destructive; if you are afraid to show and feel everything you sense about your fears and what you notice in others, deal with this differently, but with less control.

Sun in Sagittarius - Don’t waste your expansive energy on what won’t bring you growth or real expansion. You have immense potential for connection with something greater, growth, extroversion, elevation… but you might be directing this towards quick pleasures, a life seeking meaning (which is very important to you) but rarely finding it in shallow, superficial ways. The tool is important, the means, where you are investing your energy is what will define the outcome. If you want to expand, have real growth and elevation, seek the means that ultimately truly bring this as a result.

Sun in Capricorn - Review paradigms, beliefs, and the vibe of control over those closest to you. Control less (others, life), let go more. Capricorn, you have immense planning potential and the ability to put things into practice, to go out there and do it, bit by bit, build, and then reap. You recognize the value of time, in principle. But often, by living in this 'ready plan' for life, or by believing that everyone needs to follow some paradigm, you may want to impose your way of being, of living, on others, when in the end, it might only apply to you. Moreover, your paradigms and beliefs define your life (and all of ours), so notice what is old and no longer serves you.

Sun in Aquarius - Mental arrogance ("Yes, I already know that"), if constant and combined with a habit of never accepting help, can translate into an ego that does not want to give up "feeling mentally impenetrable." This can keep you from having better exchanges and mentally evolving with beings who could contribute to you. Kindly notice where you might be having these attitudes that are not very healthy for your own evolution 🤍.

Sun in Pisces - Escapism and fleeing from yourself. Seeking other things, circumstances, situations to avoid looking within. Despite Pisces being a sign extremely capable of deep self-perception, you may fear your own depth, especially if this is combined with the fear of acknowledging that you have a lot of energy within you capable of leading you to the profound, unique, sensitive, and vulnerable.